Finally pictures!!!

Ok, I may be too lazy to write, but here are some pictures of the last few weeks.
There are pictures from the Tiwari's at Diwali, me dressed up for a wedding party, pictures of some yoga students and pictures of Baba and my friend Jnan Arjun! Enjoy. Life is crazy!

Back online

I have tried everything to procrastinate studying my Sanskrit grammar, so I guess it is time to pick up a little story line for those of you who might think I fell off the face of the earth. Really, falling from earth is exactly what happened, where I landed I am not sure, but it is exactly the right place.

So many things have happened since I last wrote on this thing. Life is certainly not all roses, and here it is really all shit and roses- literally and figuratively. There is not a whole lot in between. Probably, that is why I like it so much here. Life is either really beautiful or really, really ugly. In theory, that means that you are always skipping over the gap that is Center. The trick is recognizing when you hit the Center and then try and stay there. In reality what happen is you jump from extreme beautiful to extreme challenge and miss Center most of the time. At least I do!

So what has happened? I’ve moved into a new place from which I will move at the end of the month. After a big struggle to get the place painted and ready for occupancy, I’ve discovered that it is totally unsuitable for living/practice. Why? The power in Kashi goes out everyday from at least 9 or 10 AM until 2 or 3 PM and during that time, there is a mega generator that powers the Ayurvedic oil factory that is right below my room. When the generator is not making noise or sending diesel fumes up to my room then the factory wheels/pumps are squeaking and grinding. Oops… guess I should have paid a little more attention before I moved. I have found a place that is a little bit farther away but very peaceful. It is lighter, bigger and has a private rooftop where I can teach and practice! Much nicer! Twice the price. Instead of paying 1500RS ($39) I will have to pay 3000RS ($78) a month. Oh well, should be Ok!

The change in the season, really hit me hard around the end of November. I had a wicked fever for about 5 days and then some killer amoeba or other parasite for another 5-6 days. Could not eat for 5-6 days. Not a whole lot of fun. Now, I am working hard to put some weight back on (nutella, ghee, and nuts! Yum!) and try not to get sick again. Being really sick and without good friends close by can be really lonely! The Tiwari family, as usual, took really sweet care of me, but being sick just makes you feel homesick and sad.

In a week I will go to Bangalore for a little vacation to visit friends. Really looking forward to being in a new place for a few days! Kashi is great but a bit hard. It is really magical place, but sometimes too much magic over an extended period of time can get overwhelming. After all, not all magic is good!

After reading through those bleak paragraphs, don’t think that there are also not roses too! After getting “well” I have been to 3 great parties, attended inspiring lessons and found a great new café run by an American ex-pat. She is making pancakes, cappuccino and carrot cake! Hooray! So, when I get tired of the chapatti and dal, there is a treat awaiting!

Other roses. The other day, I was sitting at a chai shop (basically a bench next to a little stand with coal stove where a chai wala serves up hot goodness) and a lovely little calf walks up to me and tentatively put his head on my shoulder. I turn around to scratch his face and he nudges a little closer and puts his head in my lap. Oh so sweet! There are 1000s of cows and 1000s of Buffalo who live in the streets of Kashi. Occasionally, one of these sweet little guys will ask for some loving- but all too rarely

Last Sunday a friend at the Ashram finished up a 62 day Kali sadhana and did a lovely tantric fire ritual which represents the bringing together of Shiva and Shakti. The power that is created by these rituals and the fire brings you very close to cosmic pulsation (spanda). In between attending the puja I was helping Baba and others out in the kitchen. After the puja was finished we fed 30+ people a big lunch and then I was off to Tantrasara lessons. Totally exhausting, but inspiring!

Now, I have procrastinated enough and will head to bed! Tomorrow… Grammar!!

Oh Oh! Just a quick note to let all know I am alive. Fell off the face of the earth and into a little parasite hole! Will be back soon!
xo
g

4.11.07
I am sort of back on the electronic earth. Really I am 10x busier here than back in TX. How does it happen? I do not know. I'm sitting for about 18 hours of class a week (most is lecture, some mantra recitation and sanskrit practice. Absorbing theories of consciousness, rules of grammar and memorizing mantras and sanskrit paradigms is all a bit taxing....rewarding, but taxing. Couple that with a couple hours of "family time" per day, and somehow, the hours are just all gone!

Things were not so busy until I added a new class (meeting daily for 2+ hours). Thankfully, it is my favorite part of the day. I am sitting with a Belgian practitioner learning the lalita sahasranama stotra, which is a powerful mantra that honors/describes a more subtle form of devi (great goddess). It is beautiful and so powerful. It helps me to feel more concentrated and more in the flow of nature/life. Another great thing about this lesson is its location and company! Jan, my teacher lives at a tiny, lovely ashram right on the ghats. It has a full view of the river and of all 3 cremation grounds, the oldest one Harischandar ghat is very close. The head of the ashram is a jolly Naga Baba (red dhoti, dreadlocks, covered in ashes, rudraksha strands draping from his neck and cigarette dangling from his mouth) who loves to feed people! So, everyday, after we finish the lesson, I am invited to stay for the most delicious lunch. Babaji is a bit of an attention hound, so he loves people to come and sit and listen to his wild stories and tell him how wonderful his food is (it is!!!).

I am finally shifting to a new place. It is not such a great location, but the bathroom and kitchen are attached to the 1 room and it is private, so I do not have to worry about getting dressed to go to the bathroom or climbing 4 flights of stairs every time I forget something in the kitchen. I will miss the Ganges view, but hope to make a deal so that I can still use this roof for gardening and doing yoga.
My little garden is really blooming!! I have a few pots of Swiss Chard and some hollyhocks (all American seed imports... oops). When it came time to thin the Swiss chard, I had enough baby leaves to have a big green salad for breakfast. Eating fresh organic greens was more satisfying than you can ever imagine!! No worries of contamination from poop or pesticide! Ahhhh.....

So that is a snippet from life on the Ganges. Hope all are well back on the N AM continent!
Enjoy the pics. I took them on an early morning boat ride with some of my yoga students from Montreal (super cool gals!).

Life is rolling on here in Banaras. The cold is waning and I finally made it to the computer. Only for a minute. Thanks for all the comments! Yes, I did cut my hair. Sort of accidental. Deepa was convinced that I needed a new look so I went to the salon and they chopped me up. It is OK I guess, still getting used to it. Non-attachment right?

Life never turns out as we imagine it should or even as we imagine it might, but it is beautiful- even when it seems unpleasant! Today sitting in my room, nursing a cold brought on by changing season, too much activity and riding Beauty in “rush hour” heavy pollution traffic, I played “fortune teller” with a bag of Yogi Tea- Breathe Easy. In my mind, I simultaneously formed two burning questions about current situations over here and thought to myself that the Yogi Tea bag- with its little quote on the end of the bag- would have the answer! Ha ha… Sure enough, it did…. “Bliss is not disturbed by either gain or loss.” I guess that could be the answer to almost any question, but it made me feel a bit better about the needless fretting I have been doing. In fact, it caused me to have a good laugh. So as I worry about finding the perfect place to live and navigating culture and environment, I just have to remember that none of it really has an impact on the inner-bliss because it is constantly changing, every second and is not disturbed by gain or loss.

Aside from fortune telling with tea bags, there has been much celebrating and worshiping of the great Devi, Durga. Most of the celebration I’ve been privy to is on par with American style Christmas- loads of decorations, lights, parties, dancing and not exactly a whole lot of reflection or meditation on what Navratri itself. Fair enough! Gathering with friends and relatives does wonders for one’s spirit.

Last night Praveen, Deepa, Rekha, kids, their friend Rakesh and I went to a stellar party where we danced all night long, playing Dandia. Honestly, I am not quite sure what it is all about, but it was a blast. I know it is a dance form from Gujarat and I’ve seen it in Bollywood movies, but other than that….? Once you get the hang of it, it’s a blast! Can not remember the last time that I danced for so many hours. Actually, I won a prize. What for? I do not know. I guess because I was the only foreigner and I am tall and I danced a lot???? Even better than that is the fact that the lovely sari I was wearing did not quite fall off!

Tomorrow, it is back to studies and apartment hunting.

Wild Dandia Fiesta on Durga Puja!

Durga, Durga, Durga!

Varanasi is pretty wild and crazy right now! Durgaji, is everywhere. Many of the businesses and clubs have put up temporary installations of Durga slaying Demons. I will save stories until Tuesday when the whole festival is over. For now, enjoy the video below. Wild animatronic display of Disney proportions!

Mad bulls and Mantra

14.10.07
Every day in India is exiting but today was a bit more so. After morning “rituals” I clumsily rode Beauty to guruji #1’s (PSNM) house for a Sanskrit grammar lesson, ufff… and then to the internet café to connect to the world. While I was at the shop, Deepa and Rekha called me over for chai and to practice my abysmal Hindi. Lucky for me, they fed me lunch after which, I went back to my house and was fed a second lunch by the landlord (Pancam)! Might sound a bit excessive, but considering my intermittent lack of food, when offered, I will happily eat two lunches.

Because I am not enamored with my kitchen (3 stories away from my room), and because I might be just a tad lazy when it comes to cooking, most days I eat one meal plus a little snack for breakfast and maybe something little for dinner (a dwindling supply of Whole Foods bars). I could pretend to justify this by saying that yogis only need to eat one meal a day and maybe it is true, but I do not think it counts for “yogis” who are living in more or less urban India and walking or cycling all over town! I’m hoping to move into a new flat with a kitchen that is a little closer by! Ok, enough of the daily droll…

Now for some excitement… Today, I was saved from a mad bull by a herd of water buffalo! On the way to guruji #2’s (Markji) house the tiny little alley on which I was walking became suddenly treacherous. A poor bull had somehow broken his horn, was bleeding all over the place and clearly agitated. He was dashing side to side swinging his head, grunting and charging at anyone who got close. So, once again, I was forced onto a stoop to wait for some sort of solution. Luckily, after 2-3 minutes a cow-herd was driving his buffalos up the alley and forced the bull to move off to the side, so all of us waiting to pass joined in the water buffalo parade and dashed pass the unnerving bull.

Just FYI: Varanasi is famous for its tiny alley-ways (gullies) and plethora of cows and buffalo. Not an hour goes by when walking or riding in the city that you have to dodge some sort of live-stock.
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In this evening’s Tantra Sara lecture we studied the subtle energies of the letters, mostly relating to bija mantra and the significance of mantra (beautiful insights into the nature and power of mantra). I found this particularly interesting: The power of mantra is in its ability to free your mind from thought constructs so that one can rest in the pure undivided consciousness. Bija mantra’s are extremely powerful because they have no direct-literal meaning so there is no concrete concept for your mind to attach to and create thoughts around. They carry the resonance and power of the energy they represent/embody, but are totally free from the burden thought construct.

One other thought… The most meaningful lessons always seem like something your grandmother could have told you. See the following:

“The more attached we become to something the less we are able to use our powers of discrimination. The more detached we are, the better we are able to discriminate and make choices that will not cause suffering.”

Navratri

13.10.07
Navratri (Durga Puja), a nine night festival celebrating the goddess in 9 of her forms, began 2 days ago and it has been non-stop Durga (goddess) fest since then! She is the deity that I have spent the most time studying and the one with whom I resonate the most, so it is a very happy and intense time here in Varanasi!

Friday, the first day of the festival, I accompanied Rekha out to her village (Jaunpour) to take part in the first haircut of her 1 year-old nephew. It was a long bumpy ride out to the village, and every little town that we passed seemed to be having a Durga celebration. Groups of young boys with loud sound systems were pulling carts with large effigies of the goddess riding on the back. Her face was covered so that none could fully see her until she was installed in the temporary housing that she would live in for the next nine days. At the end of nine days, the large statues would be removed and then taken to the river.
Upon arrival in Jaunour, we were greeted by Rekha’s large happy family who were waiting under one of the many old buildings and shacks that were built up around the temple and temple pond (kund) in order to house family celebrations and pilgrims. After a quick hello, all the women went to the ancient goddess temple to give a quick salutation at the door and then back for the ceremonial haircut. The little boy and his elder sister were both shaved bald with a straight razor. The barber was deft and quick but still the kids screamed and screamed while the female relatives looked on singing soothing songs and trying to tell distracting jokes. After the haircuts we again went to the temple to pay proper respects and make offerings. Being at such a celebration out in the village, going to an ancient goddess temple on the first day of Navratri was an unexpected gift.

In all fairness, I should mention that while at the temple grounds I ate something that was slightly evil and after the second visit to the temple and a lame attempt to eat the great lunch they prepared, I had to excuse myself over to a corner where I proceeded to puke my guts out. Not such a great part of the day, but what to do? It happens. After a good puke, everyone asked me if I felt good now and then it was time to carry on as if there had been no sickness. Something I like here is that you just get sick, and get on with it, no excessive pampering or worrying. Just move on. Well, I would have rather just lay down for a while and eventually I was allowed to (for 5 minutes), but onwards we must go. I was pretty wiped out for a few hours, but knowing that time was short, there was nothing else to do but try and put on a “strong mind” (as a friend Mahesh says) and be a good guest. Talk about tapas. Ha! Everything is practice is it not?

Speaking of practice, I have hardly written about my studies, but they are going well and slowly, slowly finding a rhythm. Markji is as inspiring as ever. When he reads from the Tantra Sara or Tantra Loka, it is as if some of the most complicated concepts are as easy to understand as basic arithmetic. Lately we have been learning about using gross means (body, etc) as means of realization. For the practice and teaching of Hatha yoga, it is most applicable! Hope to bring some of it back with me!


Off to do the washing and then go learn some Sanskrit grammar.
Thanks for reading and thanks to all of you who drop a line, I really do love the connection!

10.10.07
Sitting on the rooftop early this morning, there was a distinct difference in the feel of the air. It seems that winter may be on the way. A little chill is a much welcome change to a sweat-drenched suit! The edge to the air, made the sun rising over the Ganges even more beautiful. When the rays of the sun hit my face, it was much easier to savor rather than immediately wonder when it was going to start blasting!
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Lessons with PSMN yesterday were a delight as always. I am studying a Sanskrit grammar text with him (LaghukamudI of Varadaraja) and finding it very interesting to see how a 16th century Sanskrit primer approaches the subject. Although I am afraid it might be more than I can handle, anything that he would be willing to teach me, I would find fascinating. He is so full of love, kindness, and knowledge that I cannot help but want to know whatever he wants to share. One of the sweetest things about going to his house to sit is watching the interaction between him and his six-year-old granddaughter. Whenever they see each other, both of them just light up like candles. Over our post lesson cup of chai yesterday he was talking about her inquisitive mind and mature speech and then mentioned a bit of wisdom about returning to the innocence of a six-year-old child. It is said in the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad that when one becomes enlightened, one acts like a child- full of wonder and easily moving from one situation to the next. It is when we “grow” that we develop lasting enmity, fiercer judgements and harder boundries. He also was pleased to point out that we are not really growing at all, but rather quite the opposite. Every moment we live is taking us closer and closer to our death (though we may not know when it comes) so we should learn to take full advantage of it the way that a six-year-old might.

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09.10.07
On Saturday, I received a surprise- 2 lovely yoga Australian students (who also happen to be yoga teachers)! My friend Sunit, from the Travel/tour agency called me up to see if I would be willing to be the “Varanasi yoga teacher” for their yoga tour! Absolutely! I’ll spare the details, but looks like I might get a number of gigs!

So, for the last few days, I’ve been teaching 5:30 AM yoga classes on the guesthouse rooftop overlooking the sunrise on the Ganges. Yesterday I was struck with an overwhelming sense of gratitude and wonder for privilege to be not only studying but also teaching in this truly wondrous place. Teaching in this environment seems almost effortless; everything is so much closer to the surface and easier to access. The spirit of the place just seems to seep into the words, the practices and the rhythm of the class.

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The newness of being here is starting to wear off and there have been (not infrequent) moments of missing all my friends, family and students! (not so subtle hint to leave comments or email me! he he). I am developing some community here too, but it takes time and my lack of Hindi does not exactly make the process faster! Depa and Rekha (Praveen’s and Salil’s wives) are doing their best to get me up to speed. Most days I stop by for chai and a snack and learn how to say at least a few basic things!
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Beauty

05.10.07
Today, I met Beauty. She is a fabulously pink bicycle that will be my trusty steed until she decides to leave me. I immediately resigned myself to the idea that she might (rather quickly) be lifted to another owner. She is just so beautiful and shiny that she my be hard to resist! Well, keep your fingers crossed that we can be together for at least a while.

Sure, there were lots of bikes to choose from, but at the urging of my friend and the behest of the 11 year old girly-girl inside me, I chose the frilliest bike possible. I mean, why not? Cruising through the wild traffic and cavernous potholes on a smooth, riding pink- machine somehow was just irresistible. The first day riding in traffic was not quite as daunting as I thought it might be. Don’t get me wrong, it is ultimately hectic and nerve wracking but if you can leave your American driving behind, there is a flow that is pretty easy to catch onto. I like to think of the horns, pollution, potholes, puddles and the myriad of obstacles to dodge (sleeping dogs, cows, people, rickshaws, bicycles, ox-carts, etc..) as tools to sharpen my senses and tone my reflexes. As long as you are not too tired, it is actually fun!

After leaving DPSNM (Dr. Pt. Sri Narayan Mishra) yesterday I took Beauty for her first long spin. About 3/4 of the way there, once I had left the main road and entered the gullies (tiny little alley ways- like the one in the picture below) on the way to Markji’s house, thunder and torrential rain exploded down on the city. There was nothing to do, but duck into a stoop and wait it out. Time has such a different feeling when I am in Banaras. Sitting for an hour to wait out a rainstorm in some random alley seemed like just exactly the right thing to do and the time passed as it was no time at all.

Last night, my house finally got gas, so I can make tea and food! Lucky for me, there was not only gas but also food! The landlord of the house was wrapping up some multi-day puja, so he was feeding the Brahmins (the ritualists) and also me! Yummy goodness!

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06.10.07
When in TX, it is more than a battle for me to wake up by 5AM and start a practice. Here, it is almost impossible not to. So, feeling the change in the wind, hearing the sounds of puja at the river I get up and head to the roof for a nice, asana practice preceded by a short seated practice. While relaxing in savasana (lying down pose at the end of a yoga practice) I thought I heard a crow landing on the water tank, so I opened my eyes to see a big male monkey perched right next to me. So, much for relaxing. I hopped up, he bared his teeth, I grabbed my rug and went inside. How rude I thought! He could have at least waited another 5 minutes or so! Monkeys…

Teachers

I might be a little to lazy this morning to write much, but I'll post a few pics!
These are pictures of my gurujis: Dr. Mark Dyczkowski and Dr. Pt. Sri Narayan Mishra. I am studying Tantric philosophy and Sanskrit with Markji and Sanskrit grammar with Dr. Pt. SNM. They are both incredible scholars and human beings with whom I feel very privileged to know and be allowed to study with.

View from the rooftop

The first pictures!

Here are some images from the first days!

camatkAra - spectacular sense of wonder

When you dive into deep water sometimes it takes a while to come up for air. I think I’ve taken the first few breaths and now am able to open my senses to the wondrous city around me.

I’ve now been in India for 7 days and already it seems like I’ve been here for endless amounts of time. As soon as I arrived in Varanas (aka. Kashi, Banaras), I felt like I had never left. Maybe it is because nothing seemed to have changed, maybe it is because the pace of life here is so rhythmic or maybe it was the warm welcome from friends here. Probably it is a combination of all those things add to it that this is the oldest constantly inhabited city on earth and has an energy, a world, all of its own. Whatever the reason, it is good to be here.

The first few days in Varanasi were crazily hectic- searching for a place, dealing with all new food, jet lag and insomnia. A happy camper I was not! But somewhere in the back of my mind between the “what am I doing here?” thoughts and the “I will never find the right place to live” treachery there remained a bit of faith that things would eventually work out, and so they did, mostly due to the help and love from friends and bit of grace.

When I first arrived, my good friends the Tiwari brothers (Praveen, Salil, Sunit) sent a car to pick me up, with a driver whom I knew, so at the airport, I was greeted by a friendly face. After my arrival in the city, all three of the brothers have gone far beyond the call of duty to help me settle in, make me feel welcome and at home. Sunit, booked me a room for the first few days and started the housing search until Praveen came back to town. After an amazing amount of scouting (and sweating) done by Praveen, I have a room in which to spend the next six months. I think he called everyone in the city, cruising around for days on the scooter and taking me to see every vacant flat in Assi and Nagwa (two parts of town). What a trooper! I am truly blessed to have such friends. Thanks to Salil, I now have a cell phone- a luxury and a device that makes life endlessly smoother and less lonely. Not only did they smooth out the logistical aspects of living they also invited me to their home for tea and out to dinner with their beautiful wives and kids.

Now I am sitting in the treasured room, listening to the sound of tabla and morning mantras. My room is on the 4th floor of a building (empty except for me) and is only a few yards away from the river Ganges. From my room I can look out on the river and the rising sun. The room is simple but comfortable, there is a full kitchen 3 floors down and a basic bathroom that is currently private! The rooftop (aka. The living room) is ready for plants and lots of yoga. This morning, in between rounds of surya namaskar (sun salutations) every time in tadasana, I could look out on the rising, sun, the holy ganges and the many people doing morning puja. After being so down and frustrated for a few days, it is hard to imagine that life could get any better than this, living and practicing in such a place.

With the logistical things of living more or less ironed out, it is time to take another dive back into the deep waters of study. Thankfully, this dive should not be quite so wrenching. I have already had two sittings with Mark Dychkowski (Markji) and have visited and set up times with Dr. Pt. Sri Narayan Mishraji (PSNM). I’ll write more about what I will be studying with them next time!

Now I better sign off so that the entry does not get too long! Love to hear from anyone who is reading. Please send comments and any questions!

Namaskar

Last day at the ranch

Today...