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I have tried everything to procrastinate studying my Sanskrit grammar, so I guess it is time to pick up a little story line for those of you who might think I fell off the face of the earth. Really, falling from earth is exactly what happened, where I landed I am not sure, but it is exactly the right place.

So many things have happened since I last wrote on this thing. Life is certainly not all roses, and here it is really all shit and roses- literally and figuratively. There is not a whole lot in between. Probably, that is why I like it so much here. Life is either really beautiful or really, really ugly. In theory, that means that you are always skipping over the gap that is Center. The trick is recognizing when you hit the Center and then try and stay there. In reality what happen is you jump from extreme beautiful to extreme challenge and miss Center most of the time. At least I do!

So what has happened? I’ve moved into a new place from which I will move at the end of the month. After a big struggle to get the place painted and ready for occupancy, I’ve discovered that it is totally unsuitable for living/practice. Why? The power in Kashi goes out everyday from at least 9 or 10 AM until 2 or 3 PM and during that time, there is a mega generator that powers the Ayurvedic oil factory that is right below my room. When the generator is not making noise or sending diesel fumes up to my room then the factory wheels/pumps are squeaking and grinding. Oops… guess I should have paid a little more attention before I moved. I have found a place that is a little bit farther away but very peaceful. It is lighter, bigger and has a private rooftop where I can teach and practice! Much nicer! Twice the price. Instead of paying 1500RS ($39) I will have to pay 3000RS ($78) a month. Oh well, should be Ok!

The change in the season, really hit me hard around the end of November. I had a wicked fever for about 5 days and then some killer amoeba or other parasite for another 5-6 days. Could not eat for 5-6 days. Not a whole lot of fun. Now, I am working hard to put some weight back on (nutella, ghee, and nuts! Yum!) and try not to get sick again. Being really sick and without good friends close by can be really lonely! The Tiwari family, as usual, took really sweet care of me, but being sick just makes you feel homesick and sad.

In a week I will go to Bangalore for a little vacation to visit friends. Really looking forward to being in a new place for a few days! Kashi is great but a bit hard. It is really magical place, but sometimes too much magic over an extended period of time can get overwhelming. After all, not all magic is good!

After reading through those bleak paragraphs, don’t think that there are also not roses too! After getting “well” I have been to 3 great parties, attended inspiring lessons and found a great new café run by an American ex-pat. She is making pancakes, cappuccino and carrot cake! Hooray! So, when I get tired of the chapatti and dal, there is a treat awaiting!

Other roses. The other day, I was sitting at a chai shop (basically a bench next to a little stand with coal stove where a chai wala serves up hot goodness) and a lovely little calf walks up to me and tentatively put his head on my shoulder. I turn around to scratch his face and he nudges a little closer and puts his head in my lap. Oh so sweet! There are 1000s of cows and 1000s of Buffalo who live in the streets of Kashi. Occasionally, one of these sweet little guys will ask for some loving- but all too rarely

Last Sunday a friend at the Ashram finished up a 62 day Kali sadhana and did a lovely tantric fire ritual which represents the bringing together of Shiva and Shakti. The power that is created by these rituals and the fire brings you very close to cosmic pulsation (spanda). In between attending the puja I was helping Baba and others out in the kitchen. After the puja was finished we fed 30+ people a big lunch and then I was off to Tantrasara lessons. Totally exhausting, but inspiring!

Now, I have procrastinated enough and will head to bed! Tomorrow… Grammar!!